This is the third of the “dual blind blogging” exercises I’m conducting with my friend and fellow blogger Andrea. It was Andrea’s turn to select the topic this week. She listed a few ideas and I picked BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE. So here we go.
Andrea’s blogpost can be found athttp://adkopp76.blogspot.com/2018/12/its-better-to-give-than-to-receive.html?m=1
A YULETIDE LIE
‘Tis the season for giving. If you hadn’t noticed this, turn on any television for five minutes and you will be shown this is true. Whether it is commercials where we are assured that the greatest gift is a car during “Mazda’s Season of Giving,” or numerous Christmas movies where the protagonist learns the joy of selflessness, giving is in the air.
From our early childhood we are reminded by our parents that it is “better to give than to receive,” and we mindlessly nod at the cliche while staring greedily at presents under the tree. It is understandable and commendable that parents help to guide their children away from greediness and toward generosity However, I’m wondering if the perpetuation of this approach might actually cause as much damage as benefit.
Making giving morally and sentimentally superior to receiving creates an unbalance in every gifting situation. The giver is morally superior to the receiver, so giving becomes an act of self-righteousness. The receiver receives a gift of indebtedness, playing the inferior role in the transaction.
Let’s examine this using the characters from my yearly favorite A Christmas Carol. After his reformation, Scrooge gives generously to those around him, opening his heart (and his coffers) for the first time to the spirit of Christmas. The chief recipient of his largess is his poor clerk, Bob Cratchit and his family, most notably his long-dying son, Tiny Tim. Scrooge is doubtlessly a better man than he was when he gives to Cratchit, but is his action objectively better than the family’s joy in receiving this gift? If so, this model simply reinforces the class division between them.
This relationship is somewhat blurred by our custom of reciprocal gift giving in which both parties are giver and receiver. Indeed, I have experienced giving a gift card to someone who in turn gave me a gift card of equal value. Though both were honest expressions of good wishes, it’s hard to see any real giving or receiving going on.
Frankly the possibility of giving is only made possible through the gift of receiving, and if the Lord loves a cheerful giver, he must also appreciate a humble grateful receiver. Scrooge’s gift is doubly blessed by the fact that there can be no commensurate repayment. The Cratchits’ role in the blessing is equally essential. It is good to give and it is good to receive.
Staying within the Scroogisphere, in The Muppet Christmas Carol there is a beautiful non-canonical moment when reformed Scrooge is given a small gift without any reciprocation. The look in his eye at receiving the gift of a simple scarf indicated that his transformation is complete. He has become a generous giver and a grateful receiver.
It is my experience that there is an untapped generosity in most people. They are anxious to give, anxious to help. The humble spirit of allowing oneself to be helped to be gifted, is a vital part of this elixir of generosity and is every bit as good as the gift itself. It is good to give and a blessing to receive.
As always, I welcome your comments.
Image: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/Scrooge1951?from=Film.AChristmasCarol1951
One of your best.